Thursday, March 25, 2010

Songhai's 10 Rules of Twitter

Being that I am addicted to Twitter I realize that I do things sometimes that people might find annoying. Like my extreme cursing, occasional excessive rants about shit that irritate me, and even my over the polite "4 tweets an hour" limit to tweet about news. However, the difference between me and a few others on Twitter is that I don't really don't give a damn if they like it or not. My bio pretty much warns people and they are more than welcome to read my tweets before they follow. I give fair warnings, especially during football season, so if they unfollow me for that crap then it is no lost to me. LOL {Wonder how many are going to unfollow my ass now?}

Anyhow, even with all that I do try to stay within the Twitter boundaries. It's all about socializing and this is what makes Twitter so addictive. There are just somethings I just don't do simply because I know how much it irritates me. So, with this in mind I am going to tell you just what will get your as unfollowed by me and a few others.



1. Don't send automated DMs (Direct Messages)
Having your account send a DM to thank people for following you is just stupid. I don't know about most, but for me it just makes me think your ass is a spam bot and will get you an unfollow quick. Plus I haven't yet figured out how in the hell you guys do that anyhow. So just stop doing that shit. Really!

2. Don't beg for follows
This means saying idiot shit like "I am following you. Can you follow me back please." or "I need 25 more followers." If you follow others and interact with them then you will get the followers you want back. Sometimes later than sooner, but they will eventually follow you. Plus this is not a popularity contest. Unless your Twitter account is strictly about business, how many followers you have really does not matter. Well, unless your a spam bot with 150 followers to the 1000 tweople you are following. And if they don't follow you back then they weren't worth your timeline space in the first place. 

3. Don't change your name so damn much.
At least not like every other day. Once a month is cool, but every day or every other day is just simply annoying. It wouldn't be so bad if tweople didn't change their Tweet pic too. It is hard to keep up with who is who when you do crap like this. Really! Especially on #FF (Follow Fridays). You try to give mentions, but you end up mentioning them twice or not at all because people change their name so much you don't know who is who. Just stop confusing people period.

4. Do keep your promotions to a minimum
I have no problem with tweets about new blog post (I do this myself), upcoming events, new YouTube videos, contests, or even a new artist you are trying to promote. However, no one wants you filling up their damn timeline with that shit. Tweet stuff like this at a minimum or at the very least once an hour. And whatever you do stop sending @ messages to promote. Just tweet something like "New Blog Post at..." or "Check out my new YouTube video at...". Personally, I will block your ass if I am not following you and I get "@CeiCeiH check out my new song on YouTube at...".

5. Don't just retweet (RT)
I don't know about you, but I refuse to follow anyone who only retweets. If I look at your profile and there isn't a single @message, yet you have a ton of RTs I will move on. This just proves to me that you aren't interactive and a waste my timeline space. 

6. Do respond to @ messages
This one really pisses me off. I understand that sometimes people aren't on Twitter when I mention them, but if I send a @ message I at least expect something back. Even if your not following me say something...."Fuck you bitch", "Kiss my ass", or just "Hi". Even if you respond back 5 hours later at least I know you acknowledge my tweet. This is all about being social and if you can't reply to an @ message then I will simply think your an asshole and need your head examined. Half the time these are the same assholes doing my second rule...begging about fuckin follows. 

7. Don't make sex your only subject
I have followers who like to post explicit photos or discuss sex. Especially for Twitter After Dark (#twitterafterdark). That is perfectly fine, but I had one that tweeted about giving head or how horny she was exclusively and she wasn't even @PornHub. I have 3 children and I am very much aware of how to perform sexual acts. I do not need someone filling up my timeline with that bullshit constantly. If you must make every tweet about sex at least throw it in occasionally and attempt to be social. Better yet find someone (or several someones) who can fulfill that special need with a DM. Plus do keep in mind that not every follower you have is of age. Even if they like tweeting about sex as much as you do. 

8. Don't threaten to unfollow
If you can't stand the tweets someone makes or just don't like them then just unfollow them. Don't be a bitch and waste timeline space telling them why you are going to unfollow them. Trust me. Unless they are a family member or a close friend the person your little tweet threats don't mean shit. 

9. Do try to participate in Friday Follows (#FF)
I am first to admit that sometimes I am unable to send out #FF tweets every Friday, but at least I try. Most Tweople start their #FFs late Thursday and only mention those that are active with them on their timeline. If you want followers, then here is where you can get them. Also, if your mentioned please give back some respect and mention them back. It's even perfectly okay to RT the post. Doing so means nothing more than a simple thank you. 

10. Don't judge 
Another one I really get pissed off about. I totally understand that people have different opinions than I do. Different football teams, devoted Christians, Republicans, etc. Our differences are what makes us unique and interesting. I can deal with some big girl joke and even 30-something plus jokes, but let's be honest...some people take the shit a bit too far. I unfollowed a girl because she went on a rant about how people over 35 don't need to be social networking. She tweeted how people my age were disgusting and she wanted nothing to do with us online. Really didn't give a shit about her opinion, but it was the fact she turned around and stated she hoped she didn't offend anyone. WTF? You know you did bitch that is why you said in the first place. Had another one who was like 23 and felt that it was cool to say that women who had children and don't lose weight are lazy ass hoes. Told her ass that when she can work two full time jobs, go to school, take care of a toddler, freelance jobs, and still try to lose weight somewhere in there then she can say whatever she wants. Told her to kiss my ass and her as was blocked.  Anyhow, basically, realize that not all of your followers are gorgeous and handsome model types. They are of many looks, colors, shapes, sizes, and ages and might find your idiot shit offensive. It is a guaranteed way to not get or lose followers. Your choice. 

For the most part I have a great Twitter family. Most have excellent Twitter etiquette. Those that are in these do's and don'ts have already been unfollowed so your opinions don't really matter. So, with this in mind....Keep Tweeting Family!!!!