- I understand why the online program my job is using feels that it is necessary to have us go through all these exercises, but I feel like my ass should be back in school. Some of the questions that should be easy have me doing research and thinking way too hard for answers I have absolutely no clue about. That alone has me frustrated and some days saying, "Screw this shit!". However, don't worry. I am continuing to do them regardless of my frustration. In fact, I am starting on the Step 2 Exercises this upcoming week.
- I haven't officially stopped smoking yet and with it still being the holidays my first four days weren't bad. For the most part I stayed busy at work and at home. It was day 5 and 6, which happened to be on the weekend, that absolutely drove me nuts. Mostly because I discovered that I have way too much idol time on my hands which isn't good at all for the success of my quitting. I played my addictive game Sims 3 while my husband was at work and occasionally took time out to be with my sons or clean some part of my house. However, with one PC in the house I had nothing to really do once my husband came home. After about 30 minutes to an hour I realized that the idol time is going to frustrate and stress me out the most. I know what things will keep me busy, but they are all something I can't do right now. I could read a book, but the last thing I want to do is read anything web/graphics related when I want to relax and all of my recreational books are buried deep in boxes in our storage. I have a ton of book I could read on my Kindle account, but if I am not at a PC it does me no good. I could read them on my cellphone as I have in the past, but at this time my cell has a messed up battery life of 10 minutes after I turn it on because it has a short. I don't have a tablet (can't afford one either by the time my quit date arrives) because until now I never thought I needed one and my 1 year old laptop is out of order. I love to cross-stitch and I even came up with an Alabama Crimson Tide pattern I want to use to create something for my soon-to-be granddaughter, but it has so many colors to complete it that I can't afford to buy the thread I need. I would love to get back into putting together model cars or dollhouses, but I have 2 little boys who would destroy them quickly even if it's by accident. I can sit and watch TV and maybe even spend more time with my boys. Not against it, however, after awhile my attention span with disappear and my sons eventually have to go to sleep. Still leaves me with way too much idol time. I have to figure something out and fast.
- Getting support from other is going to be very helpful to me. I know this. However, one thing that annoys me to no end....and I do realize that this is petty...is when ex-smokers feel the need to tell me how much quitting "cold turkey" worked for them and could work for me if I really want it to. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! Let me explain something. I know me, I know how I react when it comes to stress and idol time, and I have been down this road before. I am glad many have quit smoking without aids and additional help, but quitting "cold turkey" isn't for everyone and I know it isn't for me. This is why I am doing these exercises and waiting for my nicotine patches to arrive before I try to stop. I know that my will isn't as strong as some. To me that is okay as long as I still try my best to quit. Not going "cold turkey" doesn't make me a loser and I will be damn if I am going to let others make me feel that way. I know they are only trying to help. but that kind of help is only annoying to me and makes me want to just cuss you out. Seriously!!! Most non-smokers I talk to usually just tell me, "Good luck", "Good for you!", "I am here if you need me", etc. Why do some ex-smokers feel the need to make you feel as if their method is the only method? If you want to help me then lend me an ear when I want to vent (not always do I want your advice), offer to lend me a book you have read, or just ask me what would help me because at that moment it might be something absolutely different.
Other than these issues, so far I am still on the right track. Despite all my frustrations I must admit that I am finding myself getting a little excited the closer I get to my official quit day. My official quit day is January 14th, but I plan to start as soon as my nicotine patches arrive. Well, it will be more like the next day....LOL.
My first 3-4 weeks I know will be the most difficult, but I am keeping faith that I can get through them. Over the next week it seems my exercises include putting together (or signing) a Quit Smoking Contract, listing my rewards and putting together my support team. I will officially start using the Quit Smoking app I downloaded on my phone to keep track of my smoking up to my quit date and I will being keeping a "Quit Smoking Diary" which I will be sharing with everyone on my blog. I think that is being on the right track don't you?